Psychology & Decisions
FundamentalsSolomon's Paradox: Why You Decide More Wisely for Others Than for Yourself
Solomon's Paradox explains why we judge other people's problems more wisely than our own. With the Grossmann and Kross study, the principle of self-distancing, and concrete rules for your website.
of Josef Kujawski6 min read
Short answer
Solomon's Paradox describes how people reason more wisely about other people's problems than about their own. In 2014, Grossmann and Kross showed in three experiments that the effect is equally strong in younger and older adults but disappears once you view your own situation from an outsider's perspective. For websites this means you barely see your own weaknesses because you lack distance. Remedies are switching perspective, speaking in the third person, and getting a real outside view through tests, audits, or workshops.
The Problem: You Spot It Instantly in Others
You look at an acquaintance's website and within ten seconds you know what is wrong: too much text, no clear message, the most important button hidden. Then you open your own website and see: nothing. Everything seems logical, every phrase has a reason, every section a story.
That is not because your website is better. It is because you are inside it. Psychology has a name for this: Solomon's Paradox.
The Principle: Wise for Others, Blind to Yourself
In 2014, psychologists Igor Grossmann (University of Waterloo) and Ethan Kross (University of Michigan) studied whether people reason more wisely about other people's problems than about their own. [1] The result of three experiments with 693 participants in total was clear: yes.
They did not measure intelligence but wise reasoning across four dimensions:
- Recognizing the limits of your knowledge: I do not know everything about this situation.
- Considering other perspectives: How does the other side see it?
- Seeking compromise: Is there a solution that is fair to both?
- Anticipating change: How might the situation develop?
Participants who imagined that a friend's partner had been unfaithful reasoned considerably more wisely on all these dimensions than those who played through the same scenario for their own relationship. [2]
Origin and Context
The effect is named after King Solomon, who in biblical tradition embodies wisdom. People traveled from afar to hear his counsel. In his own life, however, he made decisions that contributed to the decline of his kingdom. Fittingly, Grossmann and Kross open their study with a line from Proverbs: "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes."
Two findings make the study particularly interesting:
- Age does not protect you. Younger (20 to 40) and older participants (60 to 80) showed the same effect. The saying "with age comes wisdom" does not help with your own problems.
- Distance removes the effect. Participants asked to view their own situation from an outsider's perspective reasoned just as wisely as about someone else's problem. The asymmetry disappeared completely.
The underlying principle is called self-distancing: psychological distance from your own self. Follow-up studies show that even small linguistic tricks work. People who think about themselves in the third person or by their own first name regulate stress better and judge more soberly. [3] In a four-week diary study, daily reflection from an observer's perspective measurably improved wise reasoning in everyday life. [4]
Application to Digital Products
Solomon's Paradox explains why so many smart business owners have weak websites of their own. They advise their clients precisely but lose the overview when it comes to their own presence:
- Your own homepage: You know every service and do not want to leave any out. An outsider only sees too many messages at once.
- Copy written from the inside: Jargon, internal product names, and "we" sentences seem obvious to you; for visitors they are hurdles.
- Positioning: With competitors you notice immediately when they sound interchangeable. For yourself, it is hard to put what makes you special into one sentence.
- Feature decisions: In your own product you cling to features you built yourself, even when users do not need them.
| Situation | Inside view | Outside view |
|---|---|---|
| Homepage | "Everything matters" | "What is the one message?" |
| Copy | Jargon feels precise | Jargon feels off-putting |
| Positioning | "We are unique" | "Sounds like everyone else" |
| Relaunch | Keep the existing structure | Rethink structure from the visitor's side |
Kernaussage
Solomon's Paradox is not a competence problem but a perspective problem. You do not need to become smarter to judge your own website better. You need distance.
The Solution: Create Distance Deliberately
Here is how you can work around the paradox:
- Ask what you would advise a client. Phrase your problem as if an acquaintance had described it to you. The answer is often surprisingly clear.
- Speak in the third person. "What should Company X say on its homepage?" instead of "What should we say?" It sounds odd, but research shows it works.
- Think ahead. How will you judge this decision in a year? Temporal distance works much like spatial distance.
- Get a real outside view. User tests, an audit, or a workshop with outsiders provide the distance you can only give yourself to a limited extent.
The Maluure Approach
We know the effect from both directions. On client projects we are the outsiders who quickly see where a website falls short. With our own website we are like everyone else. That is why we have our own pages reviewed by team members who did not work on them, and we start client projects with an outside view before designing solutions.
Most clients know exactly what they are doing. What they lack is an outside view of their own company. That distance is exactly what we bring, and it is often more valuable than any design idea.
Related Articles
- The Homepage That Wants to Say Everything at Once
- The Paradox of Choice: Why More Options on Your Website Mean Less Revenue
- The Peak-End Rule: What Visitors Really Remember About Your Website
Frequently asked questions
What is Solomon's Paradox?+
The observation that people reason more wisely about other people's problems than about their own. Igor Grossmann and Ethan Kross demonstrated the effect in 2014 in three experiments with 693 participants.
Why is the effect named after King Solomon?+
In biblical tradition Solomon embodies wisdom and was sought out for counsel. In his own life, however, he made decisions that contributed to the decline of his kingdom.
What does wise reasoning mean in the study?+
Four dimensions were measured: recognizing the limits of your knowledge, considering other perspectives, seeking compromise, and anticipating possible change.
Are older people less affected by Solomon's Paradox?+
No. Younger (20 to 40) and older participants (60 to 80) showed the same effect. Age alone does not make you wiser about your own problems.
What is self-distancing?+
Self-distancing means viewing your own situation from an outsider's perspective, for example in the third person or by your own first name. In the study it removed the effect completely.
How can I overcome Solomon's Paradox in everyday life?+
Ask what you would advise a friend or client in the same situation, talk about yourself in the third person, or imagine how you will judge the decision in a year.
What does Solomon's Paradox have to do with my website?+
With your own website you lack distance: you know every decision behind it and therefore overlook cluttered homepages, jargon, or unclear positioning that you would notice immediately elsewhere.
Is Solomon's Paradox the same as the bias blind spot?+
No, but they are related. The bias blind spot describes recognizing thinking errors more easily in others than in ourselves. Solomon's Paradox describes weighing and judging more wisely overall for others.
Sources
- Grossmann, I. & Kross, E.: Exploring Solomon's Paradox. Self-Distancing Eliminates the Self-Other Asymmetry in Wise Reasoning About Close Relationships in Younger and Older Adults. Psychological Science, 25(8), Association for Psychological Science (2014)
- Distance From a Conflict May Promote Wiser Reasoning (Pressemitteilung), Association for Psychological Science (2014)
- Kross, E. et al.: Self-Talk as a Regulatory Mechanism. How You Do It Matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), American Psychological Association (2014)
- Grossmann, I. et al.: Training for Wisdom. The Distanced-Self-Reflection Diary Method. Psychological Science, 32(3), Association for Psychological Science (2021)
#Psychology#Decision Making#Self-Distancing#Perspective
Author
Josef KujawskiManaging Director & Creative Director at Maluure
Josef leads the strategic and creative development of brands at Maluure. For over a decade, he has guided medium-sized businesses from brand positioning to digital delivery.
Managing Director of Maluure GmbH, Cologne. Specialising in corporate design, brand strategy and digital brand experiences.
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